And through feeling this way, they can come to the conclusion that they have been harmed (just as they would if they were verbally or physically abused). save hide report. I should feel that way. ... that still wouldn't make being offended a choice. More on that another time. Offense requires an objective opinion. Posted by u/[deleted] 2 years ago. The nasty feeling you have is a direct consequence of your choice, not of the statement which motivated it. share. I don’t think it should serve as an excuse to be assholes to each other Being offended is a reaction. Either you will be more offended by his words, or a little light-bulb will go off in your mind and you will instantly think of how useless being offended is.And since being offended easily is a choice, YOU are the one who holds the power to stop being offended. It’s allowing someone or something else to control the way you feel. It’s becoming a victim of other people’s choices, many times when they don’t even mean to offend you. I am not easily offended. First, recognize that your being offended is your choice. It is has become hard to say anything, especially on social media, that won’t upset someone somewhere rather a lot. 2. Response 1 of 54: Not totally wrong. I often find those who are easily offended to be arrogant or self-righteous. When we make a choice, the tendency is to follow the path of least resistance. hide. Choice, Condition, Else, Imposed, Inflicted, Make, Offended, Someone, Something, Something Else, Us Quotes to Explore The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm … The case of deliberate provocation. We are not talking here about someone stabbing your or stealing your wife. Reactions are something you can work to control. David Pollay discovered this concept. Offended. things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us. Hurt happens to us. In a sense, I was choosing to give back all of the power to the offender. save. Being offended is a choice like any other. It isn’t up to other people to stop you from being offended. Let’s kick this off with some realness: The concept of feeling offended is maddening. 4 4. comments. Hurt requires healing. How I chose to handle it was to feel like I was deeply offended. 5 1 15. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us.” — David A. Bednar 2. Obviously, some statements are made with the deliberate intent to offend you. Your choice. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. How to not get offended. And you should never allow yourself to (remain) feeling disrespected. to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to. May you not offend, nor be offended. He’s here to help us sort through both. You should always be trustworthy. On Feeling Offended. Unanswered. Feeling offended or hurt by speech is a matter of choice because no one is responsible for our issues but ourselves. Someone does or says something that is offensive. » 10.6.19 Being offended is a choice | We are an Oasis where the Bible comes alive! And for clarity, I am talking about open conversation where we all have a choice. share. Archived. We’re talking about something that would disturb your sensibilities, your sense of what is right. There’s a myriad of things people can get deeply offended by: perceived slights around economics, nationality, social group, sexual tastes, commitments. You should never disrespect others. The Law of the Garbage Truck. Feeling OFFENDED is a choice/Even though we were supposed to switch off, me and my former mother in law both made dinner on the same day. To summarize: there are only two things you need to do to never feel insulted or offended again. 49 comments. And through feeling this way, they can come to the conclusion that they have been harmed (just as they would if they were verbally or physically abused). (the subconscious) There are times after all, that feeling offended was and should remain as a healthy choice. In the past few months, we have become more isolated than we … According to dictionary.com, the word offend is defined as: Verb (used with object) To irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in. Is there psychology to show this? And you should also never depend solely on the Other to initiate a relationship of trust. Is there psychology to show this? Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness Being Offended is a Choice For over a year now I've been writing a monthly article for the Town Talk's Guest Pastor column. Take several deep breaths, and allow yourself to feel any emotion that arises, processing it internally without reacting just yet. Unanswered. Typically it runs on the first Sunday of the month, but this month the first Sunday was also the first day of the month and I didn't get it to them in time to run so it ran on the 2nd Sunday, today, October 8. I choose tolerance. There is nothing that forces you to take offence other than your own moral standards, sense of righteousness and ego or self-image. The significance of the offender and the role in the life of the offended can impact the intensity of the feeling of offense (Cohen, Nisbett, Bowdel, & Schwarz, 1996). Today, we live in an over-sensitive, over-complaining, over-politically correct world where at any given time, some person or group is offended by something happening, usually not even directly related to them. For example, if a boss says something contrary to the self-concept and belief of the offended, the intensity of the feeling of offense may be greater than if an unknown coworker would make the same comment. These are all things that are within your control. Feel the feeling instead of avoiding it. Blow your emotional top or not. Well, so what?A compilation for the rejection of the culture of offense. First, when you receive feedback, tune in to what you feel – probably sadness is in there somewhere, the little child in you is hurt. offend you or to offend me. Situations where there is a clear power imbalance such as workplaces or domestic violence are another matter entirely. It is a logical portion of your head that sometimes feels as if it has been in a position to get past some (Inner Strength) issues, but if they are still from the filing cabinet labeled”offended” we will quickly remember how exactly to answer some situation that even slightly resembles the experiences we have had that directed us to feel offended. ” What we decided to think and feel about what the other person did is our choice and will ultimately affect the way we respond. "That's offensive!" Being offended is a choice made by us. Why/Why not? When feeling offended is caused by a sense of injustice, forgiveness may become more difficult, mostly in non-intimate relations where the other’s positive image is generally lower than in intimate ones; but in intimate relations feeling offended can strongly worsen the image of the other (Table 9) and cause deep sadness reactions (Table 8). The best course is to take self responsibility and stop blaming others. That is offensive, of course, but it’s really just a day-to-day reality. Sort by. Reposted from another friend: It is a fact of life in our country today that there are people who live to be offended. But may we remember today, God is the God of the hurt heart and the offended heart. Is being offended/triggered a personal choice? Here is where I had to do some internal file cabinet cleaning. “People get addicted to feeling offended all the time because it gives them a high; being self-righteous and morally superior feels good.” ― Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life 55% Upvoted. We can’t stop the inconsiderate, rude, offensive acts of others. Edit: For second question. Being offended is a choice. This thread is archived. Be offended, or not. Truthfully, being offended is a choice we make. Being Offended Is a Choice We Make-----"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited. It’s giving away your power. And just because you are offended, does not mean you are right. Whatever you decide to do because of it, that is a choice. And both are entirely your choice. What Does 'Offended' Mean? Offended Now, this is not going to be the same as being verbally abused; what it will come down to is that one will hear something and they will feel hurt or upset, among other things. report. Is being offended/triggered a personal choice? Theyre called #Progressives. Do you think being offended is choice? Even when being offended is controlled by the unconscious, the reaction to the offense is always a conscious choice. It could also happen if they don’t acknowledge you or what you do. Now, this is not going to be the same as being verbally abused; what it will come down to is that one will hear something and they will feel hurt or upset, among other things. Close. Allowing another person to hurt your feelings or allowing someone to offend you is nothing short of self-imposed mental cruelty. Every emotion is a valid one, if you are feeling it. 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